I got a text from Poly Paul (again…heavy sigh) who I dated for a short bit in 2018/2019. The text he sent is disturbing me…I’m trying to figure out exactly why. And I am wondering why the Universe keeps encouraging people from my past to reach out…I really only move forward and they are not forward. Also got a text from someone I had interacted with briefly this year with all kinds of attitude about “Where did you go?” “Why did you go quiet?” and “Bloody hell woman – WTF?!” – First of all, who says “bloody hell”? And who in civilized society starts a conversation with all that attitude? Geez. Maybe it’s going to take me a while to even remember who you are…but I am quite sure if I liked you, I would have not stopped talking to you.

This text from Poly Paul… well first it was a picture. My first thought was “I can’t un-see that”. It bothers me…what does it mean? Why does it bother me? Am I being overly sensitive? Is it actually an offensive picture and that’s why it offends me?

Fuck it…I’m going to show you…I’m sorry in advance… because you probably can’t un-see it either. We will be traumatized together.

It just feels mind “rape-y”. I don’t know why someone thinks that is a good thing to send to a woman. I’m just…confused. Maybe the poetry he kept sending that I complained about wasn’t that bad…

Everyone needs to just go away and leave me in my little happy bubble of unconditional love I’m trying to give everyone…these folks are making it hard. Is this a test of some sort? A Universe “pop quiz”? She thinks she’s got her shit together for a minute… will she take the bait and go backwards?

Hang on…maybe I know how to fix that bad image…I will replace it in my mind with this super cool Canadian blogger. It’s sad I don’t remember his name…Mark? Mike?

This makes me happier… wonder where he is in life now.

And this makes me happy too….

How can you not love a face like that?

Maybe it would be okay to go ahead and block people I don’t want to hear from ever again? Because they don’t bring me any sort of joy? I think that might be okay to do.

Published by wayward yoga girl

A complex creation that chooses to be quite simple - LOL. I earnestly try to approach life with unconditional love and non-judgement... but I'm only human and perfectly imperfect :)

3 thoughts on “Confused…

  1. It is really important to let go of people whose presence in your life is an energy drain. You are right to move forward. People who suck energy from you will always keep coming back, because they need their fix, but to give it to them is to get drained by them. Nothing is worth that, and no person is worth that. I think you have to be quite religious about it…in my own life this has extended to family as well. Nobody gets a free pass.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That image is certainly… memorable.

    I too am stuck in a limbo of uncertainty about whether I should find it offensive. It makes me think about people I’ve encountered in the past who’ve found it necessary to specify that their are attracted to my mind and NOT my appearance. What are you even supposed to say to that? Thank you?

    I have to confess, I am one of these contact-out-of-the-blue people. Mostly because I don’t experience a feeling of connection with people who aren’t currently in front of me and can forget to talk to somebody for months or years before something reminds me that they exist and I wonder why we haven’t talked in so long. Usually its because I thought of a great response to something they said and thought I’d sent the response when I’d only thought about sending it. That said, I’ve never thought to send an image implying I want to scalp somebody and finger their brain as an approach to reconnecting.

    It’s certainly an approach to ensure you are remembered.

    Liked by 1 person

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