Happy Valentine’s Week

The storm has passed… again. If you have been reading my blog for the last year, you know sometimes I have my bad days… or weeks. My apologies for whining, being grumpy and being no fun at all! It has been (and continues to be) a journey… death, loss, growth, life, and the shit show we call “dating” … it’s quite a roller coaster and I don’t always traverse these things very gracefully. Sometimes it’s three steps forward, two steps back. I’m doing my best. It’s all I can do.

Being alone and “unpartnered” on Valentine’s Day, I gave myself the gift of deep cleaning my bedroom. Too many books had stacked themselves up everywhere… too many scented candles and other things had accumulated waiting for a place to be. I very much dislike clutter. I also have this orange chair. A really expensive one… a leather “stressless”. I had bought it a couple years before Robert died. Actually, I bought two of them – a large for him and a medium for me. I had intended to buy one in a shade of beige. At that time, everything in my home was a shade of white, off-white, beige or grey. I saw these orange ones and they made me happy. I decided I would take a leap and buy the orange ones – completely out of character. I had told Robert that I realized it was completely insane… I don’t do colors… but they made me happy… like sunshine – so fuck it. He just laughed and said I should do whatever made me happy. After spending almost 7 grand on these things, I haven’t been able to let them go – I have considered selling them, but no one would pay even half of what they cost…. His is tucked away in Chelsea’s sewing room. Mine ended up in my bedroom in this house. It’s where I read, be on my laptop, or watch Billions on Showtime. It’s really comfortable. It’s well-made. And… It never fucking goes with anything… So I found an area rug – actually two of them – one for each side of the room, that has just a touch of orange to help tie the chair to the rest of the stuff in the room. So even though this house does not represent the style I prefer to have, I made my bedroom a little better – which makes me happy. Although it’s full of IKEA furnishings now (ick)… I sold all the previous bedroom furniture because it was too big for a normal house – and of course I needed a fresh start.

I’m getting more work this week – which is a very good thing.

Yes… you see star Christmas lights… do not judge me. I like them. They can stay a little while longer – LOL. Next I need to rearrange my office.