Wild and Free

“All good things are wild and free.” – Henry David Thoreau

I was thinking about this in the middle of the night. When I began writing my other blog, Undomesticated Bitch, I was searching for and wanting to get my “wild and free” self, back. Find my voice again… my authentic self… the one that had been sacrificed for the sake of my husband, children, societal expectations to be what others thought I “should” be rather than who I was/am.

A decade later, I ponder these thoughts again…

One writer, named Amy Beth Hacker, said “Healthy women have a playful spirit, are powerfully devoted to those they love, possess immense strength of character, and draw on a rich heritage of instinctual and intellectual wisdom handed down by generations of women before them. They are wild and free in the truest sense: unapologetically and entirely who they are at their deepest, most authentic core.

When we are not free, we are held back, closed off, and we feel overwhelmingly stuck. Our voice is silenced — by the outside world or, more often, by ourselves. We live in the black and white margins of life, unable to feel safe in the gray areas.

To be wild and free means to live from a place of your inherent worth and value. It means owning your imperfections as much as your strengths as worthy and valuable parts of yourself.”

I do now own my imperfections as well as my strengths and I continue to grow and learn to live from a place of my “inherent worth and value”.

She also says “Women who are wild and free know that their worth comes from who they are, not what they do. She creates because creating is an expression of her authentic self, not because she is looking for the love or approval of others.

She is conscious of her strengths and weaknesses and uses this knowledge to her advantage. She is comfortable with the concept of “good enough.” She values her own dignity and sovereignty above all else because she knows they are what keep her connected and autonomous.  

While she doesn’t strive for perfection, she is always looking to grow herself: her knowledge, her abilities, her talents, her strength, and vitality. She knows that growth involves work, and often also involves fear, and she is willing to be brave and flexible to reach her goals.”

I believe being “wild” means to be authentic. Authentic in interacting with others from the true core of who we are. It means having the courage to not only be who we are, but to be passionate about things (and people) we care about. It means being my own leader and making my own choices… unapologetically. It goes hand in hand with being free. Freedom involves living from and making decisions from your soul. It also means being spontaneous… and flexible.

But then comes the idea of free will… Or the illusion of “free will”. It requires consciousness of why you make the choices you make to decide if you really are “free” and exercising free will or if it is just an illusion and a compilation of everything life, your parents, and society told you about things. Sometimes we are not as “free” as we might like to think… I will endeavor to be free anyway.

I’m fierce – but fragile at the same time. I guess that’s part of being my authentic self. I am a different woman in many ways than I was a decade ago… relationships and how I “am” in them look different now too – my standards and expectations have changed as well. I really don’t have that many regrets. I’ve learned something from every experience in life. I’m also learning to control less… surrender more. Surrender to possibilities that exist… the beautiful joys I didn’t expect, the synchronous and serendipitous… trusting the Universe to send good stuff my way. I just have to remember to savor the sweetness more.

What I’m listening to today…