Last night I had “family dinner” with my adult children and their partners. We have vowed to make this a more regular thing… I adore my girls. They are so much fun. We laugh so hard our stomachs hurt and tears run down our faces, and we threaten to pee our pants.
The two older ones want me to move closer. They are tired of me being an hour or more away. I moved south 10 or 11 years ago… mostly I needed to distance myself from my ex and his family… I needed room to breathe.
I feel a little bad about the fact that when you get me and my daughters in one place we cut up and laugh so much with each other that their partners are lost in the background. I need to figure out how we can actively include them more…
They are so much smarter and have more figured out than I was and did at their age… But I had three babies and two businesses at their age, so my focus was different than theirs is… they chose different lives – better in many respects. I love how we can go deep on any subject and talk about anything together – albeit at this moment have more deep conversations with the youngest since she lives with me… I have not discussed ENM or threesomes or things like that with the older ones – although I would – it just hasn’t come up.
It astonishes me up that in public places when we laugh and have fun, people assume we are all sisters instead of three sisters and a mom – that’s always good for my ego – LOL – but it’s probably my long hair that makes people think I’m younger than I am…. Honestly, I will probably never really “act my age” and will always have to do the math to figure out how old I am. Last year I realized when I started dating, that I had miscalculated and for a time told people I was a year older than I am – LOL. I would love it if age didn’t matter to society at all… I actually never thought I would live past 28. On my 29th birthday I realized I hadn’t planned on still being around – it came as a shock. I had to tell my husband, “Apparently I am going to live longer than I had expected – I’m going to have to plan the rest of my life now”. I’m quite sure he thought I was nuts… or joking. I was talking to a past client the other night and she had always had that same exact thought – but her age was 25. She was recently t-boned by a semi-truck and that is how we ended up talking about that stuff.
All my girls understand energy – they should I guess, since I have talked about it all their lives – that is another subject that tends to leave their partners out in the cold in our conversations. That, and ghosts, and shared past, and shared family (ex-husband’s family), and real estate… I always included the girls in my business… as small children they were in the backseat of the car pretending to make deals, write contracts, talk on cell phones, while pouring through the listings books pretending they knew about all the houses in them (I remember one of them holding a pretend cell phone saying “Would you like 3 bedrooms or 12 bedrooms?”) … when they were older, they did trashouts with me in my side business and learned about billing for reimbursements and making spreadsheets to track lots of data… then got their licenses (which 2 still hold as side businesses) and worked with me in the office through college. I used to threaten that we would need to buy a cul-de-sac of homes so we could all live next door to each other when they were adults… now they seem to wish we had. (I bet their partners don’t – LOL)
We have a close relationship… I love the special, quirky, wonderful people they have become… and I absolutely adore them.