Mayday

Mercury in retrograde, lunar eclipse, … and the sun, moon and Saturn creating a “harsh T-square” in the sky… it’s a fucked-up energy trifecta. I was already having a funky week, then it got worse.

Piper is my dog… she was born in a trailer park and taken away from her mom too young. When I rescued her, she was this tiny flea ridden little mop that didn’t know how to eat real food yet and tried to nurse on everything. But – they knew when she was born… on my birthday coincidentally… so I figured she was meant to be with me.

I brought her home against my fiancé’s wishes… (he was still emotionally recovering from the loss of another dog) but I knew he was a softie and would fall for her. He did. And she adored him… he was her favorite. Of course, he cooked for her, so that might have helped, and he was willing to hold her in the crook of his arm for hours while she slept as a puppy. Whenever he cooked a meal for us, he made Piper her own little plate. She is the only dog I know of that grew up eating Filet Mignon.

After Robert died, she waited on the stairs for him, watching the driveway… waiting for him to come home every day for months. It broke my heart. Eventually she allowed me to be his replacement. We have moved several times and life has changed a lot for us in the last five years… she started having a health issue a few years ago. Her genetics are not particularly good… kind of an expected risk with rescues. She went on a special diet for dogs with genetic liver issues. Even though she is approaching 8 years old, she still tries to nurse on things to fall asleep.

Last year I bought her a really expensive flea collar – supposed to be “the best”. It poisoned her and caused neurological damage (Seresto – if you google it you will find it has killed many dogs and cats). It took about 12 hours and a very expensive trip to the vet in the middle of the night to figure out that was the cause and get it off her. They told me she might never return to “normal”, there was permanent neurological damage. I worked with her and nursed her back to health, taught her to walk again and after a few weeks she was back to about 98% of her former self.

Friday night she started having Grand Mal seizures. She had 17 of them within two hours… I rushed her to the 24-hour emergency vet, and they admitted her to the hospital. The medications they gave her to try and stop the seizures didn’t work at first due to her liver shunt issues. After 48 hours and several thousand dollars later, she is back home. She is still having seizures, but not the big ones… they are called focal seizures. She is on five medications and can’t walk again. I’m keeping a seizure log to track her progress. First night home she had 57 seizures… She has the on-going liver issue and a brain issue.

I’m trying to nurse her back to health again… there is a chance her brain can form new synapses and she can improve again. There is also a chance she could have more big seizures and need to be euthanized. The first few hours she was home was really rough. She’s doing a little better now… I’m helping her learn to walk again. I made a sling with dishtowels to hold her up while she tries to move her legs to move forward. It’s a process… sort of like physical therapy. She tries. She has a desire to walk, run, and “do” stuff… her limbs just aren’t cooperating yet. I had to work with her to get her to eat again – her tongue was just pushing the food out… but she has successfully had two meals now. I am definitely a soft touch when it comes to animals… I won’t bore you with the list of animals that have ended up on my door step and been cared for over the decades.

I know it’s probably crazy to put in so much effort, but pets become part of the family… and I am not a quitter… ever. She is not in pain, so if I can give her more life to enjoy… and her quality of life can be good, then I owe it to her to try. She has been my little buddy. She has seen me through a whole lot of life “shit”. She lights up when she sees me, is super excited to go with me in the car when I’m working and unconditionally loves me. That’s more than I can say about a lot of the people in my life – LOL.

Change is inevitable. I know this. There will come a day when I will have to make a hard decision about Piper. I just can’t do it today. May is a tough month for me. I don’t need another event in this month… June isn’t great either… She’s a tough cookie… we will get through this.

(Update: she is showing improvement already… less seizures, more time of body control… took some steps without assistance.)