Sometimes… often…. okay always… the last 5 years I listen to things while I sleep. That happens when your guy dies, I guess… For about 3 or 4 years it was ocean sounds through Alexa. Then I decided to switch it to rain since I don’t live at the beach anymore. (Side note – recently decided I must live at the beach again – so that will be happening in a year or so) The last month or two I have mixed up the rain sounds with binaural beats, meditations, or other things that cross my path on my phone ( I got bored with Alexa’s offerings). Last night I woke up from a bad dream and realized whatever I had on when I went to sleep was no longer playing. I grabbed for my phone in the dark and tried to press “play” on the appropriate internet screen. A surprising thing happened… I heard a man’s voice whispering “Hey baby… come closer… snuggle in… I will hold you close while you sleep” and I heard his heartbeat and rain. I thought “What the fuck?!” and sat up and looked at my phone. YouTube had decided I might like this… it’s funny YouTube, Alexa, my TV, and Amazon all do this… they often suggest they know what I would like. Can you even imagine if we told someone about this 20 years ago? That our devices would have the algorithms built in to do this? Well… I think I had Tivo 20 years ago and it did it – but I feel like they were the first. Anyway… I decided to just go with the flow and sleep to this man’s heartbeat. It was weird, random, and somehow… comforting (and his whispery voice is sexy).
He has a whole “gentle dom” series that I’ve taken a peek at today. This gentle dom has “ASMR” on everything. I had no idea what that is… of course curiosity got the better of me and I had to look it up. It stands for autonomous sensory meridian response, and it involves things that promote comfort and relaxation. Being a big fan of both comfort and relaxation, I am surprised I’ve never heard of this. Turns out there are people out there who make ASMR content, and it is readily available.
My bad dream involved finding a fish in my water that I was drinking (have no idea what that means…may need to google it) and I was doing stuff with my adult children and my ex-husband (who is dead so we can’t do things with him) and a friend that I realized has been in more of my lives than this one. I was having a frustrating day in the dream and had emotions of feeling left out and misunderstood. The fish was not horizontal – it was vertical which is so… un-fishlike. Maybe I was out in the pollen too long? I was outside for many hours… Maybe I just ate dumplings too close to bedtime?
My latest obsession is long bao (soup dumplings – you know the kind with the soup inside them…making me wonder how they get it in there… yet another thing I need to Google).
When I started booking my trip to Europe, I started with the flight there and the flight back (paid for – nonrefundable). Then booked all my flights within the trip… to Rome… to Santorini… back to Paris. All paid for, booked, and non-refundable. I have the Santorini accommodations chosen, booked, and paid for. I still have to decide on the in and around Paris and Rome accommodations.
Now I have an email from Air France… they changed my flight home to a different day. Why would they do this?? I will still be in Greece! How can they do this?? I checked for other flights… mine is still there… it is paid for, and my seat even selected. I am so confused. I’ve never even heard of this kind of a thing. How can they change my flight to a different day randomly without my consent, and why would they when it stills shows the flight on-line as a flight? If this changes, it fucks up all my other flights and plans… all nonrefundable. I am going to meditate about this before I call them. On the one hand – it seems really unfair and like I should fight it in some way. On the other hand, I have really been trying to “go with the flow” and trust the Universe always has my best interests in mind. What if I’m for some reason NOT supposed to be on that flight? What if there is a reason I am supposed to be on this other flight? When I miss my exit or the GPS mapping isn’t clear and I end up doing or not doing something, I always take it as a sign that I need to just know for whatever reason – I was meant to go another way. But that does not involve money… it’s easier to go with the flow about.
A weird night has now turned into a weird day…