Feeling a little too much

I feel energy. I always have. Sometimes it’s energy around me – like if I am near someone. Sometimes it’s the energy of people I have an energetic bond to. I realize this probably sounds a little nuts.

All day today I have felt some energy that isn’t mine. I keep checking with myself… “Is this my emotion? My energy?” The feeling or answer from my soul is “no”. I’m working remotely today – so there is no one in my space… I have checked on people I have an energetic bond with – like my kids… they are fine. I keep releasing it – then it comes back. It’s so… heavy… sad… heartbroken… almost a feeling of also being angry and disappointed in “self”. I even took a nap to try and shake it. I don’t know who is so fucking unhappy today, but I send them love right now… it’s all I can do. I need it to stop – it’s making me nauseous.

It reminds me of when I was a kid. I had a really strong energetic bond with my mom. I felt it when she was having a rough day – no matter where I was.

I need to distract myself…

I will just riff on thoughts for a while… the illusion of control. We all have it, want it, fight to keep it. Truth is – so much of “control” is just an illusion. You can’t control the ocean… or the sun… or other people… when we feel out of control or disappointed by life or where we are in it, it feels like something must have gone wrong. Nothing ever goes “wrong”. It’s all part of deepening our life experience – learning, growing, expanding… sometimes the “wrongness” is divinely inspired for our higher good… our growth.

Sometimes life has to feel like it has taken a major wrong turn to wake us up. It humbles us and helps us see the bigger picture… and let go of our ego… learn to trust our soul more. I sometimes feel like some people I interact with are so out of touch with their own soul they wouldn’t even recognize it… which makes me sad. I always feel compelled to give them hints. Not sure if it ever helps.

Life is a mystery. It’s supposed to be. The joy is watching its unfolding. Things appearing when and where we need them… releasing resistance… trusting… flowing with it… appreciating… feeling gratitude… that’s where the beauty is.

Unconditional joy is available to all of us all the time…whether things go the way we expected or not. If you surrender to whatever is going on around you and flow with it and through it, you reach acceptance and appreciation… and joy. There is no light without dark. The dark is always temporary. The secret is appreciating whatever the darkness shows you.

Some people know the price of everything – but the value of nothing. This phrase just came to mind and reminds me of some people I know… (namely my business partner) … I figure if someone is in my path – for however long – it’s my karmic duty to try to help. It’s tiring. I trust the right words will come out of my mouth at the right times to help him see for himself some “Universal truth” that will help him be a better human. He and his brother (my ex-husband) and their entire family think and have always thought I am a “Pollyanna”… sometimes they think I’m not very bright… that’s okay. I’d rather be happy than bright (or right).

This song is playing in my mind… I had to find it and share it. Off topic – sorry. It reminds me people need to “feel” your love, not just hear the words. I have so much love in my heart for all the people I know.

Weird… YouTube thinks I’m in Italy… I didn’t even have my computer with me there… wish I was still there…

Published by wayward yoga girl

A complex creation that chooses to be quite simple - LOL. I earnestly try to approach life with unconditional love and non-judgement... but I'm only human and perfectly imperfect :)

2 thoughts on “Feeling a little too much

  1. If it was me, I send my apologies. You pretty much described how I’ve been feeling all day. Lost. Forgotten. Burdened. If not, then maybe that sort of melancholy is going around, like a bug. On another note, three years ago I came back from London and my Amazon account was still Amazon.uk. It was pretty cool to be able to watch some of the shows on Prime and I still had UK pricing and shipping. For a few weeks.

    Your words helped me just now. So thank you for that.

    Liked by 1 person

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