Highway love

I am a BMW. A 540i to be precise, with a six-speed standard transmission, leather interior, soft amber ambient interior lighting, Bang and Olufsen sound and amber dome lighting that gently dims after entry. I am reliable when maintained, require high-end fuel and better oil – granted, repairs can be a little expensive, but with the right care will go over 200,000 miles. I can go from 0-60 in less than 5 seconds. It feels like precision… like a fine watch. Sturdy but also luxurious and fast. A 3 series is a little less mature and has less horsepower. A 7 series is a little more stodgy and well established. My particular model of 5 series is often underestimated or overlooked for flashier vehicles, but very high performance with a skilled driver.

I once married a Pinto racecar (those words do not even belong in the same sentence). Seriously – a Pinto modified and souped up with Holley parts I can no longer name. No matter the modifications, once the awe of the 6-point harness and roll cage wore off – it was still a plain Jane Pinto in its soul. I was but a silly child (turns out with a light BDSM side in my DNA, making that harness and roll cage alluring) …. Unfortunately, the Pinto failed to maintain the BMW, even after repeated reminders. When the check engine light came on, he ignored it and continued driving fast – until the engine seized. It was a sad and expensive day for everyone.

The mini-van folks… I tried to be one for a while. Steady speed driving, safety minded, “baby on board” folk who blare Raffi from the stereo. It didn’t go fast enough or handle curves well enough for me.

Beware of the flashy, high horsepower vehicles like Lamborghini and Ferrari. Those are a special breed. They tend to be a little skittish and hard to handle. One distraction or false move and “boom” you’ll hit a wall. Game over.

Some folks are automatic transmission Civics. That’s okay. They won’t go anywhere super-fast or luxuriously, but they will get there. Slow and steady sometimes wins the race. For some reason, I just get bored.

Then there are the truck people. There’s a wide variety of trucks but they all are strong and steady (and can haul your stuff). But if you are in relationship with a “truck person” they will try to haul stuff in your BMW. BMWs can haul stuff, but 2x4s and cement bags do not belong in it – it was not designed for that. (Don’t scuff my leather.) Some trucks are very large and made for extra power and can have very nice full -grained hand rubbed leather interiors, but they are still made for working. Some trucks are tiny by comparison, but still determined to be hard working even if the interior is plain and they don’t have much power. Some folks put a hard cover on their beds. They want to haul things, but don’t want to help you haul things. The ones with campers feel like they have a back-up in case they end up homeless or have things they don’t want others to see… why so secretive camper top?

When in a relationship, your styles need to compliment each other. Or at least be very understandable to the other. Sometimes you will drive side by side, with one eye on the road ahead. Sometimes you will take turns taking the lead. Sometimes you will take different roads but arrive at the same destination. Sometimes you will also end up at a cross-roads. (The Pinto went straight, and I took a left.) Other times, you may be tempted to demolition derby your way along. I won’t let just anyone park in my garage… I may ask you to park on the street. If I do end up sharing a garage, know you have made the cut – at least for now.

Tesla. I’m not sure exactly what to think. It feels snobbish, although I appreciate its speed and agility… and the retracting door handles and large screen. It almost feels like the mediocre man’s Bentley but with a social statement. Are we really improving the planet significantly with these? Yes, less dependency on fossil fuels and less emissions, but increasing the strain on the power grid. I guess it’s a step, although hybrid may be better. If you are going to share your garage with a Tesla, it will require modifications for charging. I dated a Tesla for a minute. He did not get to modify the garage. He was so snobby I suggested he stay in his own garage.

Subarus. Socks with sandals. Not willing to take a risk. Not my style.

Jeeps are an interesting breed. The ones where the doors and top come off can be exciting. Rugged, durable, and fun but may not be as practical for daily driving with their rougher ride. The ones that are just glorified SUVs don’t really feel like Jeeps. They are Jeep “want to be”s – they feel rugged and wild in their soul, but have conformed to a more tame and suburban existence.

I once shared my garage with a Hummer H2. That had strength, the ability to go anywhere and still felt very luxury, with its heated leather and color-coordinated piping. That was like the” Mac Daddy” of Jeep-ness but with sophistication. I loved that vehicle… sad it became extinct. As did mine.

My second engine is all broken-in now and running great. The body has a couple dings, but performance is still top notch. Interior still pretty much like new… I’m just whizzing along the country roads – top down… enjoying the scenery…