Christmas is over

I survived Christmas. Robert loved Christmas. He decorated like crazy…every inch of the house inside and out. Christmas movies every day from Thanksgiving to New Years. When I was a kid, Christmas was unpredictable and often a disappointment. Some years I would come home from school or wake up in the morning to find theContinue reading “Christmas is over”

… still Thursday

Okay I have been “productive” enough for today. I showered and got dressed. In my “lumberjack” outfit again… that’s what my date called it the other night… I kind of took a little bit of offense. I wear black all the time. I have 36 pair of black leggings, half dozen black slacks, black jeans,Continue reading “… still Thursday”

Wrapping up the year…

I have been reflecting on all that has transpired the last year… particularly when it comes to personal growth – which is positive. I am starting therapy next week to make sure I continue to process stuff from the past fully and can move forward as the mentally healthiest version of myself possible and haveContinue reading “Wrapping up the year…”

My meandering mind

Work has been really slow. I’ve been watching various workshops online for the last week. Nothing interesting really to report or document…I am struggling. Most of my struggle I think is just the season…and being alone (unpartnered). I am starting to go through the entire house, every closet and every cupboard – to pare downContinue reading “My meandering mind”

Shift in the Matrix

I’m going to veer off the normal path today…try to put judgement aside and move forward with an open mind. We as a planet are experiencing a mass “awakening” spiritually. Our entire world is having a shift in consciousness. Don’t get me wrong…there are still plenty who are “asleep”, but right now there are moreContinue reading “Shift in the Matrix”

Sex and Quizzes

I need to complain for a moment. Not everyone is a good fuck. Even fewer are a great fuck. I’m annoyed…I try to be discerning before even connecting with someone in person. My most recent sex date has been in the sex positive and kink communities for years…decades…so I even made him get tested forContinue reading “Sex and Quizzes”

My favorite conspiracy theory is everything is going to be okay…

I was disappointed not to hear from someone I care about with a text on Thanksgiving…I had asked him not to text me anymore so it’s my own fault. I just wanted him to anyway. But he doesn’t truly care about me so it’s just as well he didn’t. I’ve spent some time researching whyContinue reading “My favorite conspiracy theory is everything is going to be okay…”

My version of Modern Love

I have spent the last 2 ½ days in bed. I’m out of it now…but I want to go back. I showered and put on clothes…now I’m exhausted. I binge-watched things on Prime…including “Fleabag” and “Modern Love” … a movie called “Bound”…another movie called “The Voyeurs”. It occurs to me this morning my daughter probablyContinue reading “My version of Modern Love”

Comet dust and lust…

A “nova”” when it comes to dating, is when you meet someone and there is an initial attraction…the two of you shine brightly for a moment, then fade away and fizzle out quickly (usually a one night thing)…it was never meant to be anything more and you both instinctively know it. A “comet” in datingContinue reading “Comet dust and lust…”

Masculine energy

I have noticed this year, while out in the dating wild… a shift in men. Maybe it has been there for a long time, but I was unaware because I wasn’t out there meeting them. I have blogged about this before…but I’m thinking about it again. Men, or many of them it seems, have beenContinue reading “Masculine energy”

~It’s all good~

I’m done wallowing and creating melancholy doodles. Granted – those things have purpose and sometimes you have to take some time and “feel” your feelings and where you “are” at a given moment. I really hate that chaotic, disconnected, fragmented feeling of being out of alignment. Meditation cures everything… and doing the energy work IContinue reading “~It’s all good~”

Trying my best to translate…

I’ve been so emotional this week…so much energy coming at me and through me…is it the geomagnetic storms or something else? Today especially…I woke up with energy coursing through all my chakras, then a feeling of calm…then more waves of energy. I can’t really put my finger on where its coming from. I know whatContinue reading “Trying my best to translate…”

Attachment & Updated Dating Lexicon

Looking for love or connection and coming up empty is never a good feeling. When you feel attraction for someone, sometimes it is based on unhealthy things. What I mean is…say your childhood created some unconscious ideas about what a relationship or partner is supposed to look like or feel like (this happens with everyoneContinue reading “Attachment & Updated Dating Lexicon”

Beautiful chaos~

I had a really enlightening day. I need to “Kerouac” it out…so hang in there with my stream of consciousness rambling please or move on to better reading if you’d like. I have realized that ever since I really let go of the grief I was carrying for years over the death of my partner,Continue reading “Beautiful chaos~”

The one about friends~

Today I am thinking about friendship. There are levels of friendship…from the work peer you would come to the aid of, to someone you have known for a long time and have a shared history with, to someone you would trust with your life. I have once had the privilege of being in love andContinue reading “The one about friends~”

Trust and Boundaries

Today I am thinking about trust and boundaries. Specifically, self-trust and healthy personal boundaries. I was told by someone once a long time ago that I do not have healthy boundaries and, in many instances, have no boundaries. I believed them. This was partially true at the time, but I realize it became a storyContinue reading “Trust and Boundaries”